BHP this week issued an official Safe Planking Alert (left - click for full size) to its workers after a lunch-time disagreement over practical Planking positions on humungous dump trucks turned nasty.
The incident left three workers with only one sandwich and four more without sufficient tea to continue working.
Rob Raven, General Secretary of the Mining Industry And Overpaid Workers union (MIAOW) slammed BHP's stance on this most pathetic of past-times.
"Our members have enough on their plates, especially at Morning Tea, Late Morning Tea, Lunch, Early Afternoon Tea, Almost Forgot Third Morning Tea and Nearly Finished Break, without these plonkers encouraging Plankers. Or vice versa," quoth the Raven. "Nevermore".
The shiny union boss, bedecked in more bling than the average urban posse, received support from a likely source.
Elliott Stotegobbler, President of the Plankers Are W**kers Society (PAWS) was quick to echo Raven's sentiments, or thereabouts.
"These guys get paid $300,000 a year to play in an oversized sandpit. I guess it's entirely appropriate that BHP is encouraging them to play childish pranks, or Planks, as the case may be. I mean, seriously?"
Where Raven and Stotegobbler differed in their views was on the question of whether it is safe to Plank at all on a mining site. Raven wondered aloud how his men would hold their tea if they fell while Planking and hurt themselves. The view of PAWS was more to the point:
"Let 'em. Natural selection, we say."
it's 60cm .. i dont think they will fall and kill themselves from that height. And they're only having a laugh
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