Sunday 22 May 2011

Man Disfigured in Horrendous Treadmill Planking Incident

SYDNEY, 19 May 2011 - A London man has been left seriously disfigured after a planking stunt at a central Sydney gymnasium went horribly wrong.

The 56 year-old musician, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, told reporters he wished he had never heard of Planking, an inexplicable past-time that involves lying face down in unusual locations or on unusual objects.

"It was stupid, really. I was trying to impress this cute young chick who had just started exercising next to me. On reflection, a treadmill was probably not the wisest of things to try planking on."

The man was flung off the back of the treadmill he was attempting to plank on and underneath an inclined treadmill behind him, on which another gymgoer was doing sprint training.

Senior Personal Trainer at the gym, Priscilla Gonzales, said it was a very messy affair. "He got jammed in the other treadmill and the guy using it was a bit slow in hitting the emergency stop. Half the victim's face was mashed up or ground off."

Ms Gonzales had little sympathy for the disfigured man. "Planker? Fucking plonker if you ask me. I mean, seriously? What a retard."

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